I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
