I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested