Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.

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  (310): I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today. http://tfl.nu/yukz
  Replies (8) Good night (5173) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks

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  (413): At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks http://tfl.nu/fbkp
  Replies (15) Good night (762) Bad night (2635) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them

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  (770): I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them http://tfl.nu/31n4
  Replies (25) Good night (570) Bad night (4440) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries

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  (703): I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries http://tfl.nu/pohi
  Replies (17) Good night (4479) Bad night (943) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys

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  (919): please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys http://tfl.nu/inic
  Replies (21) Good night (833) Bad night (4604) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.

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  (763): i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately. http://tfl.nu/s9fu
  Replies (17) Good night (825) Bad night (4726) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"

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  (301): the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst" http://tfl.nu/u5av
  Replies (16) Good night (7640) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.

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  (404): And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT. http://tfl.nu/u1ny
  Replies (26) Good night (5338) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever

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  (503): There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever http://tfl.nu/502h
  Replies (3) Good night (3511) Bad night (1523) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.

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  (814): Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now. http://tfl.nu/xg11
  Replies (16) Good night (6659) Bad night (2089) Order T-Shirt
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  (846): View more from

  he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.

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  (846): he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand. http://tfl.nu/15lw
  Replies (14) Good night (1539) Bad night (5022) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night

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  (815): I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night http://tfl.nu/p9mu
  Replies (5) Good night (1038) Bad night (2300) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.

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  (914): He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/pgtg
  Replies (3) Good night (1827) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...

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  (540): He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward... http://tfl.nu/zj5d
  Replies (17) Good night (515) Bad night (1250) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma

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  (920): I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma http://tfl.nu/6gw3
  Replies (5) Good night (518) Bad night (209) Order T-Shirt

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