question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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