"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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