Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
