So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
