You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
