i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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