I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
