what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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