He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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