When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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