Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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