So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
