I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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