Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
