I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
True strength comes from lack of pants
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
