Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
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Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
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Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize