Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
