I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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