she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
