FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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