$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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