I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
