So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Let's paint friendship bongs
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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