I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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