I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
