Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
