There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
