You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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