Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
