Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I deserve this hangover.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
