I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
