Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
