I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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