I just saw a hot homeless man
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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