I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
