You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
