She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
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