She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize