I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
