I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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