Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
