get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
