weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I love you. Go after that dick
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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