That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
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A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
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At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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