So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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