Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
