The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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