So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
