I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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