Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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