For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
