Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
