I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
