I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
