Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
