oh god the rape fog is back!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
either way he was missing a nipple.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
A bitchslap is in order.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
